Have You Ever Felt Unheard at the end of your Doctor's visit? (Signs You Are Being Gaslit by Your Doctor)
My lifelong friend recently confided in me that she has never had a successful PAP smear. Her experiences with the gynecologist have been consistently traumatic and painful, leaving her feeling unheard and invalidated. As a pelvic floor physical therapist, I frequently encounter similar stories from patients, yet I was shocked that my own friend—fully aware of my profession—had never shared her struggles with me. She admitted that shame and the normalization of her negative experiences by past providers had kept her silent.
Unfortunately, her story is far from unique. Many individuals dread OB/Gyn visits due to past discomfort, fear of being dismissed, or a lack of knowledge about their own healthcare rights. If you’ve ever left a doctor’s appointment feeling unheard or uncertain, you are not alone. The key to transforming your experience lies in preparation, self-advocacy, and knowing what to expect. In this guide, I’ll walk you through actionable steps to ensure that your next visit to the OB/Gyn is empowering and informative.
Why This Matters: The Hidden Struggles of OB/Gyn Visits (How to Advocate for Yourself at the OB/Gyn)
Many people feel intimidated, rushed, or uninformed during OB/Gyn appointments. This can lead to missed opportunities for better care and even long-term health consequences. Common fears and concerns include:
- Fear of pain or discomfort during exams
- Anxiety over discussing personal topics
- Feeling dismissed or rushed by medical providers
- Lack of knowledge about available treatment options
- Past negative or traumatic experiences
These concerns often prevent individuals from speaking up, asking necessary questions, or fully engaging in their healthcare. However, taking an active role in your OB/Gyn visits can lead to better health outcomes and a more positive experience.
Key Insights & Actionable Takeaways (How to Feel Confident During a Gynecologist Visit)
Empowerment begins with knowledge and preparation. Here are some key ways to feel more in control of your healthcare experience:
1. Prepare Before Your Appointment
- Write down your symptoms, questions, or concerns beforehand.
- Research any medical terms or procedures related to your visit.
- Know your medical history, including past surgeries, medications, and family health history.
2. Advocate for Yourself During the Visit
- Ask for clarification on any medical terms or recommendations.
- Request modifications if you experience discomfort during exams. For example, you may request a pediatric speculum during a PAP smear, which is typically smaller than the traditional version. Or, you may ask to insert the speculum yourself, which reinforces the control you have over your own body.
- If you feel dismissed, restate your concerns firmly and ask for alternative solutions.
3. Utilize Support Systems
- Consider bringing a friend, partner, or doula for emotional support.
- Seek guidance from pelvic floor physical therapists or other specialists.
- Engage with online communities for shared experiences and advice.
Understanding Dyspareunia and Its Impact on OB/Gyn Visits
Painful pelvic exams are more common than many realize, often due to a condition called dyspareunia—persistent pain during intercourse or vaginal penetration. Many individuals with dyspareunia experience significant discomfort during OB/Gyn exams, yet their concerns are often dismissed or overlooked.
As pelvic floor physical therapists, we frequently hear from patients who have avoided OB/Gyn visits altogether due to painful exams. Sadly, many providers do not assess for increased pelvic floor muscle tone or discuss pelvic floor physical therapy as a solution. Instead, patients are left feeling ashamed or told to “just relax,” without a clear path forward.
If you struggle with pain during exams, you are not alone. You have the right to ask your provider for modifications, such as:
- Requesting a pediatric speculum (which is smaller and may be more comfortable).
- Asking for extra time and a slower approach to reduce discomfort.
- Pausing or stopping the exam if needed and discussing alternative ways to assess your health.
Additionally, pelvic floor physical therapy can help address the underlying muscle tension contributing to your pain, making future exams more tolerable.
Common Mistakes & How to Avoid Them (What to Do If Your Gynecologist Ignores Your Pain)
Many people unknowingly limit their own care by:
- Avoiding questions due to embarrassment
- Not researching their symptoms or medical options
- Ignoring signs that they may need a second opinion
- Staying silent when feeling uncomfortable or dismissed
Societal stigma surrounding reproductive health often discourages open discussions, leading to unnecessary suffering. Breaking this silence by educating yourself and advocating for your needs can transform your OB/Gyn experience.
Actionable Steps to Take Today (Checklist for Your Next OB/Gyn Visit)
Here’s a step-by-step guide to feeling more empowered at your next OB/Gyn visit:
- Schedule an Appointment with Intention – Research providers who align with your values and needs. If you feel your past experiences have been negative, seek out providers who specialize in trauma-informed care.
- Make a Pre-Visit Checklist – List concerns, symptoms, and questions.
- Practice Effective Communication – Use direct, clear language when discussing your health.
- Set Boundaries & Know Your Rights – Advocate for your comfort during exams and request explanations when needed.
Follow Up – Take notes, schedule necessary follow-ups, and seek second opinions if something feels off.
Take Control of Your Health Today
Empowerment at the OB/Gyn leads to better long-term health, increased confidence in medical settings, and more positive healthcare experiences. One small step you can take today is to prepare one question or concern you want to address at your next appointment.
If you’re looking for additional support, Soma Vita Physio & Wellness offers specialized care in pelvic floor therapy to help you feel comfortable and confident in your health and wellness journey. Take charge of your care—because your health matters, and so does your voice.
Take control of your health with expert physical therapy at Soma Vita Physio in Watchung, NJ.
📞 Call us at 973-547-1226
📩 info@somavitapt.flywheelsites.com
